The beautiful and ugly part of adoption

The beautiful: Today has been great for us. Another day of progress and bonding. We heard lots of babbling and laughter. My heart leaps every single time I hear it. Henry is a Taylor through and through. He's more easy going than I dreamed/wished he might be. He is perfect in every way. I mean, there's struggles like any child and we are learning about each other. There are bad moments and good and since I've been here before I know there is a long road ahead of us. God is in the business of making things beautiful again. He's taking tragedy and abandonment as filling it full of love. It's amazing, hard, and beautiful. It's what we knew we were getting into when we signed up. We had no clue if this part would be hard or easy. One family in our group is having a really tough time. No matter the age of an orphan it's like getting a newborn. These babies have medical/special needs and have been dealt more trauma in their short lives than most adults. Still we love on them and pray over them and work for smiles and try to comfort. It's a privilege and honor to be a part of this calling. I truly dont say that lightly. Im honored that God allowed ME to parent these kiddos. I don't deserve these gifts. ❤️❤️❤️

Before I address the ugly. Here's a few pics of the beautiful side.

The ugly: 

The ugly part is SO ugly. 

I probably shouldn't blog about it but I can't remain silent. 

Now, we know these children were abandoned by their biological families. They were left in the cold, heat of summer, rain, etc and thankfully someone found them. Thankfully the process moved in such a way that they were matched with families. When you sign up for this you hope for the best and prepare for the absolute worst. You decide. You think through all the possible hard parts and decide if you want to take the risk. It's an important decision you don't enter into lightly. Hearts are at stake and these little lives that have been flipped upside down are fragile and need to be valued. 

Today this is what I looked at in the hallway as we gathered and let the children play. 

This is the crib of a precious little boy that was taken back to the orphanage. His adoption final. His passport applied for. Paperwork finished. Fees paid. 

Minds changed. 

I cannot understand any reason that could possibly be given. A precious little soul who thought he finally had a family ... was abandoned again. Again. 

This happens somewhat often people don't prepare, they don't commit. It's scary. It's terrifying I get that. But there's no way in the world I could walk a child back into the orphanage and hand them back over to the nannies. No way. 

This morning at breakfast some of the inauguration events were on the tv. I thought of all the people mad and glad and caught up in who is president or not. And all the while, a little boy was abandoned again. It puts life in perspective a little more. He's not the only one of course. The story is the same around the globe. This one just happened to touch my world today and my heart broke. 

Please pray that his true family will be found. Pray for his little heart. Pray for the hearts of workers that had to watch that all unfold. And pray.... for the family that could do such a thing. It's super hard not to judge in a situation like this. I have to trust that God is in control.

In the meantime, I hug Henry a little tighter and pray a little harder. 

Love, Jenn